Another Round of Golf Anyone?

23 March 2009

Morality

An event occurred in my life that made me angry.
I wrote a big blog about it. A mean blog. A very hurtful blog. A blog that released the most intimate and secretive details of someones true character. Not my character...someone else.
But then I realized I'm better than that. And I don't think I'll post it.
It was a good one though. Just like the old days. Inappropriate.
So...I'm going to chips II on Friday and I'll do a photo blog then. Because...it sounds like it will be colorful and disgusting.

// posted by Sage @ 3:30 PM 11 Comments

25 February 2009

Roomate2

Over the summer, it was brought to my attention that Patrick (my current roommate) looks very much like Nick Jonas, the youngest (and might I add most talented of the) Jonas Brother(s). This was brought to my attention by Ms. Sara Machi. Who I think really likes the Jonas Brothers. Well, they've been everywhere lately, those JB's. On Conan, SNL, the Grammys, everywhere. And I told Patrick that at some point, we were going to go the mall and dress him up LIKE a Jonas Brother and take pictures to send to Sara in the UK. This is our story:

We went to the Ridgmar Mall the the Niemans, and they had the perfect Jonas Brothers clothes in their tiny tiny mens department. But unfortunately, Patrick is tiny and they didn't carry any sizes that fit him, which made me very mad because there were these perfect white pants and vest and paisley shirts and everything. So we went to Macys.

Macy's also doesn't carry Patricks size in anything. Apparently dpt. stores sizes for dudes starts at 32 and he's like a 28. He's like a size 0 in girl pants. Macys was an utter waste of time but this mannequin was there. Is he about to be hit in the groin?

Is he getting head? Nobody knows. But we didn't set him up like this. He was already in this position.

The lady at Macys said we should try the Banana Republic, which we did. And while I wasn't as pleased with the selection there, they did have ascots. And white pants. So, I made it work.

Now. This is Patrick dressed up as a Banana Republic Jonas Brother. Notice the purple ascot? Neckerchief, what are they called? The pants weren't tight enough. And he looked very nice. And kept saying, "No teenage boy would wear these clothes."

Nick Jonas has more afro.

Then we went to Blue Mesa, I had too many blue margaritas, went home and went to sleep. The end.

// posted by Sage @ 12:03 AM 1 Comments

23 February 2009

Hooray

I know this is lame and I don't know her, but I'm very happy that Kate Winslet won the best actress award this year!!! Yay, she's my fav.

And even though my DVR cut out right before her name was announced (I was pissed) I watched her acceptance speech online and I can't wait to watch The Reader.

Yay Oscars! Yay frivolous award shows!

// posted by Sage @ 4:09 AM 2 Comments

27 January 2009

VomitAlert

Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman. Grosses me out, and makes me remember why I became a vegetarian in the first place. I'm eating meat again now, it's hard for me to watch while eating a BLT. Or anything, really. But he is a super cool guy.

Here's a list of foods Andrew Zimmerman eats while people film him as interpreted by me:

beating frog heart

tarantulas

live lobster

"goober burger" (O.I.T.U.S.)

chicken uterus

suckling pig ear -- grossest thing I've ever seen

scorpions

mayonnaise fondue and milkshake

"unborn chicken egg"

stingray (which I will admit, I have eaten. I do not recommend Stingray) (I also think that Stingrays are the kittens of the sea and was very upset when I found out what I ate was a stingray. I thought it was something else)

turtles

rats

lots of balls. I did not draw anything for this because Natalie Dee and Drew from Toothpaste for Dinner already did it right. Please check out this site, Andrew Zimmerman Ate My Balls. I <3>

I love this guy.

// posted by Sage @ 9:14 PM 1 Comments

25 January 2009

Cabinfever

I haven't been out of the house much lately. Well, for work. I only leave for work. Work has been insane. Oh, I do leave sometimes for American Idol at Alex and Jro's. Other than that, I'm usually just "B-E-A-T. Get ready to ignite". So, I spend a lot of time with my cat and roommate. And Harry Potter. Sometimes, all three. This is leading to alot of posts about my cat. My cat is my bff. Which, for realz, I know, it's sad. I know anyone reading this is SOOOO over my cat. But I'm not. She's just a baby, and I love her. Too much.

Patty and I were watching this movie featuring the guy that played Richard, the hotel tycoon Samantha loved in SATC. It's called "The Warriors". That's how he pitched it to me: "He's in Sex and the City." Like he's dangling some candy in my face, me -- arms crossed over my OshKoshBgosh's. It worked, and I liked it a lot, it was pretty cool. And then the cat started watching it to. She's been watching a lot of TV lately. She's watching Roseanne right now. With me, I'm watching Roseanne too.

Anyway, I think it's funny when my cat's attention span lasts long enough to actually watch tv. Also, I got cable this morning, well Satellite. Hoorays! And I just saw a commercial for this:

It's the Vagisil At Home Vaginal Screening Kit. Sorry dudes. Ladies, if you're having discharge that is ANYWHERE close to ANY of these colors...please seek medical attention immediately. Instead of going to CVS, wandering discreetly through the isles, gingerly grabbing the Vagisil At Home Vaginal Screening Kit, driving home, doing WHATEVER THE HELL you have to do to get a sample, and waiting around for it to read, rather than wasting that hour...just go to the nearest hospital or military base because I'm pretty sure you are turning into the Cloverfield monster. Or you are a dead person. Gross.

// posted by Sage @ 3:51 AM 0 Comments

19 January 2009

Brownies

Jro and I made brownies. Magic brownies, with raspberry filling. And all I had was this heart shaped pan. And they were beautiful. And we devoured them, Jro, Alex, myself, Jro and Alex's new neighbor Aaron who is super cool, and Patrick played video games and refused to eat them because he "doesn't eat brownies. Or cake. It's a texture thing."

Whatever, Patrick. Whatever.

// posted by Sage @ 4:51 PM 0 Comments

17 January 2009

Catsloveme

1) I bought Johns mattress when he moved to NYC. My dad and I put my old mattress by the dumpster in the parking lot. It's just sitting out there, and every day I walk past it to my car, I grow less and less nostalgic. There is just no room in a twin. 2)I am the mother of all cats.

As I was walking to my car the other day, I saw this image. And chuckled because I know...the cats knew it was mine. Because cats love me.